According to a completely imagined Wikipedia post, Top 40 songs are scientifically engineered to have an neurologically adhesive quality.
In the Inland Empire of Los Angeles rests a Gulag-esque structure where juvenile delinquents are harvested for focus groups on the “Catchiness” of music. After a steady stream of orally ingested dietary supplements consisting of caffeine, high fructose corn syrup, and red dye no. 5, participants are given a refurbished Generation 2 Ipod Classic as a delivery system for prototypical music. Each microsecond of music designed for maximum infusion into ages 10 thru 22, dubbed “The Dumbographic.” Easily identifiable hooks, a formulaic musical repertoire and a complete absence of symbolism all contribute to their ease of recall when attempting to have a normal day ignoring human contact.
Scientists have likened musical infusion experimentation to the testing of Agent Orange on military subjects, with similar complications.
Having one of America’s pop songs stuck in your head may lead to a severe ailment known as “taste-blindness”, where the inflicted no longer participates in choosing things for their own lives, but rather has them force-fed by committee, medically known as “Olive Garden Syndrome”, or OGS for short.
