Low Standards
Salmonton, North Dakota A popular store for stamp artists and collectors of irregular sizes of paper, owned by 3rd generation Salmontonite Peter Gleason, has announced it will be moving to a... Read more
Danbury, Connecticut 2014 Local Peter Thorn was seen shopping at the nearby “Big Chas’s Saab, Scion and Subaru” on in the automotive district when he spotted the car of his... Read more
Dear 24 hour news cycle, Who died and made you precedent? It’s time to suffer for your work and make it difficult to deliver your mass-produced “information”. News should o... Read more
Prolific philanderer Ross Russo-Rousseau, age 52 died this week of complications due to severe shock, sources say. Known for his long list of frowned-upon courtships, Russo-Rousseau was also... Read more
San Francisco housing complex known as “The Superiority” is offering permanently increased rents for occupants whose status is driven by the amount they pay for an apartment. The... Read more
In many metropolitan areas, a strong infrastructure of public transportation exists; large buses, trains, and streetcars named Desire all work together to form an arterial system shuffling p... Read more
Savior of mankind? Does such a thing exist? How did no one realize this was an abstract concept. It’s bad enough to elevate any homo-sapiens to be admired for their entertaining, athl... Read more
This newsflash brought to you by the advertising group responsible for the “Black Women Do Breastfeed” campaign. The agency’s claim to fame was realizing that events need t... Read more
Warrant Issued to Comment Section for E-Bullying
Cited for being the starting point for all internet homophobia, a warrant for the arrest of the “Siegfried and Roy Do Las Vegas” comment section was issued Monday morning. The co... Read more