The News
Thrace, Greece Historical Greek figure Aesop has been known to his fans for his prolific output of animal fan fiction. In light of recent public disbelief of absolutely everything, Aesop... Read more
Wasilla, Alaska Radio DJ James VanDreever — known to the airwaves as “Gouda Cheddar” — has been receiving thousands of tersely worded, G-rated letters from Wasillans... Read more
An Oklahoma Police Force has hired the youngest sketch artist in state history in a monumental blow to age-ism. Eight years old, Sandy “Puddin'” Britchford was brought into the d... Read more
Today: The United States of America implements a risky diplomacy strategy with Iraq, changing its status from “Open Relationship” to “It’s Complicated”. The pub... Read more
Coalinga, California The largest bovine housing project west of Nebraska is up in arms due to a recent cow-tipping spree. The art of cow-tipping consists of pushing the unsuspecting victim t... Read more
Ocean City, New Jersey Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi has sparked controversy by confusing her second child’s birth with a marketing strategy. Known for being a founding member of... Read more
Moving to America from the southern shores of Canada to become an American citizen became priority number one for a Toronto native. Hamilton Beecher-Stowe left his home hockey rink to become... Read more
Tony Gwynn, the only player for the San Diego Padres to actually spark San Diego’s interest in the sport of Baseball has passed away at the age of 54. Tony was known to embody a combin... Read more
Salmonton, North Dakota A popular store for stamp artists and collectors of irregular sizes of paper, owned by 3rd generation Salmontonite Peter Gleason, has announced it will be moving to a... Read more
Dear 24 hour news cycle, Who died and made you precedent? It’s time to suffer for your work and make it difficult to deliver your mass-produced “information”. News should o... Read more