The leader of the Church of Unscientific Science, Kenned Hamm, has come out against evidence, saying that there is no evidence that evidence exists. Hamm cites a lack of evidence for the existence of evidence, and says that since God doesn’t mention anything about evidence existing in the bible, evidence therefore does not exist. This controversial claim has the world of evidence-based endeavors baffled, with representatives from the worlds of astronomy, geology, physics, chemistry, spelunking, baking, teaching, walking, and breathing wondering how Ham could come to such a conclusion if there is no such thing as conclusiveness.
Hamm grew up in the small town of Penance, South Dakota aspiring to be a Hollywood defense attorney, but had a spiritual awakening at the age of 9 when he found the existence of a bible in every hotel room to be more than coincidence. With the conviction of a nine-year old, at age thirteen he pursued his love of random occurrences to a seven month divinity school degree. Bestowed a Doctorate of creationist biblical interpretation with a minor in conversational flatulence by Ulysses Foole University (UFooleU), Hamm became the leading expert in the lack of expertise.
At 2014, Hamm has made himself famous by participating in debates in which the opposing team is rendered clinically speechless from incredulity by pitting as many contradicting ideas against each other as possible. Most notably was his distinction that science isn’t actually a science, but a word describing science that means everything but science. And while his belief system is frightening to people whose main concern is drinking water and shelter, he is in line for the next Republican presidential nomination.
