Warrant Issued to Comment Section for E-Bullying

Cited for being the starting point for all internet homophobia, a warrant for the arrest of the “Siegfried and Roy Do Las Vegas” comment section was issued Monday morning. The comments section started its career as an area for enthusiasts to share their appreciation of magical performance. But as its popularity grew, the upbeat, positive message was slowly replaced by proliferation of an anti-gay-magician agenda. Visibility of “Ban the ‘slight’-of-hand” and “Straight magic is great magic” grew, and authorities in internet enjoyment rights put the section under 24 hour observation.

Attempts were made over time to try to coax the open forum into a direction of friendship and tolerance via sensitivity training and introductions to comments sections devoted to cute animals. Efforts in mending ended in links to lengthy sermons by the Reverend Billy Graham and quotes of “I’m friends with plenty of comment areas with gay cousins, so I’m allowed to say this.” Authorities knew it was time to act when the amount of energy devoted to proliferating a culture of finding more things to hate took over the pursuit of an enjoyment of life.

The area below the video was condemned as a breeding ground for hate-speech and was replaced by revenue increasing advertisements for nicotine replacement therapies.